Snowy days are her favorite. As the fresh snow falls outside, her eyes track every atom of snow from the sky to the ground. Her oily forehead smudges the window as she leans on it mesmerized by the snow. How can one person love a season so much? She watched through the window for so long its as though the snow was calling her name. Looking frantically for her boots, all her brain thought about was her reaching outside before the snow stopped falling. At once; she found them. Never had I seen someone put shoes on so quickly. Those are her favorite boots; they would be mine too, if I was her. the smooth suede texture make them to die for; its like rubbing your hand across heaven. The brown bow sits perfectly on the back of them smack dab in the middle of each boot; screaming “look at me; I’m pretty and I bounce”. She gallops down the stairs an onto the porch. As she steps her right foot off the porch, to head to the two last steps that await her, she gets the landing she didn’t see coming. Her left foot fails her and slides briskly off the porch and under her. She gets up, breathes in the moist air and slowly proffers her tongue outward trying to catch as many snow flakes as she can. At last, she is in her own winter wonderland.
Inspiration: Jerome describing the Kipps. Write a narrative in which a character describes someone he/she/they have visited. Include as many concrete sensory details as you can.
The moment their eyes landed on him, their chest cavity became home to a pair of syncopated wings belonging to the fiercest of birds. Broad shoulders gave way to what appeared to be lean and sinewy muscles. The cuffed midnight blue jeans and well-worn white sneakers presented an air of comfort while the dress shirt, with its sleeves rolled up to the elbow and first three buttons undone simply oozed sex. Watching him stop and say hello to all his friends did nothing to stop the rapid somersaults taking place in their stomach. The closer he got, the more there was to take in. Expertly tousled black hair, which brushed his shoulders, sharp cheekbones, full red lips, and a light dusting of freckles around his nose immediately crept pass their defenses and cause a warmth to be felt on their face.
Suddenly, this god is standing right in front of them. Taking his sunglasses off, he looks right at them with his piercing green eyes.
“Hi, I’m James.”
The Three Ladies
Not a week goes by when another person would come in and observe our beautiful ladies, some would ask where did you get them? Some others would just say, “I never saw them before and I being here so many times”, it is beautiful. Some others would ask for it or try to take claim of it. To which each of the ladies at the front desk with a smile would say the same thing each time “get in line but, know that we are in first”.
As you entered the office at your right hand you would see them every day, each wears a different colored dress with head warp and earrings that match. One wears a beautiful forest green dress, as you looked at it, it inspires you to think of beautiful greens of the fields, her head is covered with a wrap that conceals her hair, her round green earrings frame her beautiful milk chocolate oval face. Her expression is of peace, gentleness and with closed eyes you could almost hear her breath in the depth of her surroundings. Her long-handed fingers hold a tall, white, beige and gray water base. By the lady in green her sister stands in the middle with her burn yellow dress, the burn yellow of sugar cane burning in a faraway field, she also wears a head wrap and earrings, but her earrings are triangular and seemed to point to the exact point where your eyelids meet when you close your eyes. In the cradle of her right hand she holds the most precious of nature’s gifts to a woman, a child, the infant is wrapped in a beige baby blanket, the only part of the infant you can enjoy is his/her angelic face, you cannot see his eyes, by the expression of the woman holding him it seems that he is looking straight at her. Her cooing expression shows the worries of tomorrow, the joys of today and the pain of yesterday. The other woman in the left wears a blood red dress with her headwrap and earrings matching, but her earrings are square, her hair is not completely covered by her wrap for one can see her hair falling in a thick long ponytail, her long neck and square earrings make her look royal, in her hands she holds a cluster of lilies of the valley, her expression is of peace and tranquility. Each woman holds her precious cargo with expressions that cannot be missed, each have her eyes close as if she did not want to see what is going around them but just enjoy their precious gifts and each other’s company in silence and tranquility.
Marvin sat down hastily after getting his plate.
“I told you, ma, I dont wanna eat. I dont even understand why I need to be here at all. nobody in this family pays any mind to me until I fuck something up, so there’s no point in me really even being here”, said Marvin as he picked at his plate showing no interest in the meal Ma had just taken hours to prepare.
Olivia sat directly across from Marvin, blatantly annoyed.
“You make no sense, Marvin. you’re apart of the family and if ma wants you here for dinner it doesn’t matter how much the rest of us dont really care for your presence.” scoffed Olivia as she rolled her eyes, placing her hand on her cheek and looking down at her untouched food.
As soon as Marvin was about to muster up a comeback Levi barged into the dining room.
“HEY BITCHES” shouted Levi as he joined Marvin and Olivia at the dining table. “This is why Im so happy im the baby and none of you live here anymore. I couldn’t take y’all interrupting dinner for your childish antics. If I wanted a soap opera I would turn on Univision. can y’all just stop before ma comes out here you know she just wanted everyone together a few more times before everything changes.
Changes. That was all Levi had to say to remind Olivia and Marvin why they were here. despite their complete and utter disinterest in all things Ma, they knew their attendance was required. There was only allowed to be one outcast in the family and Georgie had made sure to fill that position very quickly after his departure into adulthood.
“And dont mention Georgie either, y’all know how Ma gets when she hears his name. I want to try and make this as enjoyable as possible” continued Levi as he reached for the Italian dressing.
“I dont care, Levi, im over this. Im tired of having to jump evey single time ma says so all because Georgie the prodigal son couldn’t do his one job of staying underneath Ma’s ass so that the rest of us could move on with our lives. im over this. I want to live my own life without being summoned to these unbearable boring family dinners every time y’all —”
marvin was cut short by Ma’s entrance. Ma, in all her exhaustion, had the biggest smile on her face despite all the drama that had to take place to get most of her kids to dinner. In her hands she carried a pitcher of juice, and on her face she wore all the stress that she could not ever seem to escape. None of that mattered at that moment because she had what she needed, even if it was forced and even if she had to fight tooth and nail to make it happen.
When I heard the news, I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I hopped in my car. I think I just meant to head to the gas station for a six-pack and then hang out by Sherman Falls to think a bit, but then I cranked up the playlist and twenty songs later I was in the Bronx, parking in the old neighborhood—Hillside Homes. I think I knew right away it was a mistake to come, but what’s another mistake, right? Not the first, won’t be the last, not for me at least.
I parked the Jeep on Wilson and headed down the concrete path to where the tunnels split, and you can take the stairs to Fish Avenue. It seemed every building held a memory. On the right, 3470 where the Rossis lived—how many of them were there, fifteen or so? Then 3468, where I first alighted from Queens after my mom died. On the left, 3466 where Peter Peg Leg’s mom would throw down singles and change for the ice cream man. Shit, Julie, that was forty years ago. Saying that is as surreal as a Salvador Dali painting.
I made a left, went through the tunnel under Sammy Chu’s apartment and into the Cherry Blossom Court. It’s the best time of year to be there, the pink blossoms floating in the breeze and falling to cover the ugly pavement. Unfortunately, they had just mowed the grass so that nasty smell of bleeding chlorophyll overwhelmed the blossoms. The people in Connecticut can’t understand how much I hate that smell. Mown grass is the perfume of suburbia. Another reason to hate it.
The field in the center of the court looks different and everything looks so much smaller. I mean, I remember coming up to bat and thinking how far I would have to hit the ball to make it over the fence. Now, I look at it and I don’t see how we didn’t break the window of every apartment that faced that field.
The monkey tree is still alive. I’m not kidding. Remember that day when we were all hanging on that one branch together and we heard the creak. Tariq was like, “Oh, shit,” but before we could let go the tree just keeled over. I fell on my face, you landed on my back, and Sammy broke his wrist. Remember the panic we were in trying to concoct a story that didn’t involve climbing a tree his mother specifically told him not to climb? Man, I sometimes think that making up excuses for the stupid shit we did is what kick-started my career as a writer. We knew we had to be tough to live in Cherry Blossom, and that tree was no exception. It has spent the last forty years growing horizontally, like the world’s thickest vine.
It was tough to see it that way, though. I wanted it to be standing tall. Maybe I wanted it to be dead and gone. Somehow, beyond my admiration at its clinging to life, there was something pathetic about it as well, spread out with its limbs vainly reaching upward as if it wanted the sky to pick it up.
I wanted it to look exactly like it did the first day I met you. That was when my family moved to Hicks and had the garden apartment with the little yard. I came outside, and there you were, hanging upside down on the limb we eventually overloaded with miscreants. I liked your upside-down smile, and the three feet of jet-black hair that fell nearly to the grass below those sparkly almond eyes. How hard did I crush, Julie? Diamonds, but you knew that.
You won’t be surprised to know that I actually knocked on the door of my old apartment. There was an older black woman living there with her grandson, who was probably the same age we were when I first saw you. She was so welcoming when I explained why I knocked, and invited me in. I told her I just wanted to stand in the yard and didn’t want to disturb them, but she insisted, and made me eat one of her chocolate chip cookies and tell her about what Hillside looked like when I lived here. She was nice, but the apartment was suffocating and brought to mind too many nope moments for me to stand. It was weird how much of the furniture was arranged exactly how it was when I lived there. There was a recliner by the front door, black, not brown, and the couch lined up along the left wall, with a lamp behind it. How many times had I read by the light, hearing my father moaning in his needle dreams in the next room? I politely said my goodbyes and walked—calm on the inside but every fiber in my legs wanting to run—out into the yard.
I could almost see us rehearsing on the slate tiles, the amp plugs running into my kitchen window. Tariq on guitar, with his dreads tucked into his tam, and you, resplendent in a peasant blouse and skirt, with a million scarves on your mic stand. Me, cringeworthy in a guayabera—what was I thinking? If ever I deserved one of Tariq’s “stupid white boy” cracks, it was when I wore that shirt.
While I was standing there, my mind in 1980, don’t you know a security guard ambled down the path, gave me a nod, and then headed into the back door of the laundry room. That was your favorite way to go home, even though it felt like backtracking to me. We always took different paths to the same place. Like in high school, when everyone went their separate ways and you wound up at Art and Design and I went to Science. We just fell out of our routine, and out of each other’s lives. I swear, Jules, my breath caught the day Tariq and I were auditioning singers and you walked into the studio. You never told us you could sing before that. We had just heard a dozen of the worst yowlers ever. I felt like if I heard one more wannabe Whitney Houston oversouling “You Give Good Love,” I would scream. When you said you were going to do Roberta Flack, I panicked, because I didn’t know how I was going to tell you no when you inevitably sucked. I could never tell you no. I had already decided that I was going to make Tariq do it when you stepped up to the mic and opened your mouth. That angelic voice grabbed my soul, and ripped it out of my body. That was the end of auditions, and you were in the band.
\You and I were a thing for five minutes, but we were much better as friends than lovers. I still can’t hear Roberta Flack without thinking of you.
Well, I think I have babbled enough. I have to tell you one more thing, though. As I walked out of the yard, and past the monkey tree, I spotted something in the grass. It was a piece of phyllite. I guess it isn’t surprising. The field is full of it, but it just reminded me of the time we were hanging out the day before your Bat Mitzvah and you were so nervous. You found a piece that had so many stripes in it you said it looked like fudge swirl ice cream—you were so fascinated with it. When I said it was phyllite you teased me for days about being a nerd. From then on, I was Professor Tom.
I stuck the phyllite in my pocket and headed back to the Jeep.
The ride back was longer. I finally broke down when I saw Candlewood Lake, and New Fairfield, where we once again reunited after decades running parallel in our solitary worlds.
It took me all night to write this. I really didn’t know what to say, I guess. If you were here, I would say I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, and maybe I’m angry at you. Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you call someone? It’s late. I’m going to try to sleep a little. Now that I’ve written this, I don’t know what to do with it. In the morning I’ll go to the cemetery. I want to put the phyllite on your headstone, and maybe tell you that I love you one more time.
Goodbye, Jules. You passed the audition.
WOW… I was just breath taken when I was saw her gallantly walking to the kitchen. Every single gesture was done so smoothly she was just so perfect. Her hair black like the night sky and long like a never-ending road. Her smile was as bright as a shooting star. She made my heart sink every time I saw her. When we would speak sometimes I didn’t even know what to say I would just gaze at her beauty if it were up to me. I thought to myself, “Who would even pay attention to me?” I couldn’t just throw myself on her she was to fragile I needed to have her but I don’t know how. We would lock eyes as if we were hypnotized because the Kipps wouldn’t allow this to ever happen. We began building up feelings and this fire that would burst inside like a volcano but yet we couldn’t. One day we smiled and talked, she made me as weak as a feather when I was next to her. I wonder if she felt the same. Unconsciously, I kissed her and surprisingly she was kissing me back. I closed my eyes as out lips hugged each other like a long never ending hug with some much love and intensity as if it were the last one….
Night had not yet overtaken the pastel sky, but the moon was already visible. It was not quite a full moon, but it was not a perfect crescent either. It was caught in an inelegant phase somewhere in between. As the hours passed and the heavens dimmed, the moon grew more brilliant, and it greeted the eventide with a radiance that upstaged every other celestial body with natural ease.
An aging man gazed at the twilit sky from his porch. His craggy face was wise and rugged, with hollows like craters and dark eyes that gleamed like distant stars. The moon had always captivated him. It had been forty-seven years since he had stepped foot on its gray surface.
He struggled to recall the details of his mission—the number of rock samples he had taken; which of his crewmates had performed the transposition, docking, and extraction maneuver; the name of the aircraft carrier that had recovered him upon his return to earth—but he remembered the feeling. How could he forget that overwhelming trepidation and unstoppable hope? There were thousands of ways the mission could have failed. The spacecraft could have caught fire at any moment. A single computer error could have derailed the entire expedition. He could have lost connection with his support crew and capsule communicator back on his home planet. But none of the doomsday scenarios could have quelled his confidence in the potential of humanity and his primal curiosity about the workings of the universe. Back then, there was no person or circumstance in the galaxy that could stifle his spirit.
But eventually, the time came for him to come back down to earth. Earth is the most pragmatic planet, with its matter-of-fact food chains and businesslike seasonal transitions. It was no place for the man’s burgeoning young mind full of wild stellar aspirations and ideals. Yet it is also the only habitable planet, so the man had no alternative but to remain grounded on its dependable, safe, overfamiliar crust. The earth-dwellers welcomed him back with cheers and pride. He settled down in a decent neighborhood in a satisfactory state in an acceptable country on a tolerable earth. He fell in love with a moderately worldly woman and married. He bought a midnight blue house with a veranda with a reasonably attractive view of the stars. He sunk into a life of terrestrial mundanity and routine. It gradually ate away at his optimism until his soul was a dying star that gave birth to a black hole that had such powerful gravity it prevented any light from escaping.
The only thing that consoled him was his nightly ritual, the only ritual he enjoyed. At sunset every evening, he would wait for the moon to emerge. He closed his eyes and recollected the sensation of his feet touching the dusty crevices of the lunar landscape. He cherished the memory of looking at earth from hundreds of thousands of miles away and waving stupidly as if all of humanity could see him and collectively wave back. He remembered the soft, silvery haze that had shrouded his landing site and filled his heart with mystery. And in that fleeting moment, the gleaming orb in the sky didn’t seem so far away.
Tonight, is the big night, I can’t believe everyone is coming over for the first time since I moved into my own place. All I am hoping for is that they will cooperate, and this night will go well once I tell them the big news.
Mom and Papa are sitting on the end of the table. Mom always likes to sit beside dad when we’re all eating together. Of course, James and Jen are arguing over who’s better at everything and anything, mom is always saying, “Hey, life is not a competition! Quit arguing!”. Nana and Nani are always concerned about me, always asking, “So how’s your love life honey? When will you get married? Stop focusing on work for a little while, find a nice man you need love honey”, little do they know is that is impossible. Every time I give them the same answer, “Nani I really do not need a man to keep me happy, I am ok”, I want to say that but instead I say, “Yes, Nani soon”, just say that to jump to the next subject.
As we start to get ready to eat, mom starts off with a small prayer. This has always been family tradition since my mom was a baby and she continued it with us. Before mom begins to pray, she holds out both her hands and we all participate in bowing our heads and holding one another’s hand. She starts her pray, as she comes to an end, James hovers his whole body over the table to grab the baked ziti before Jen does. Dad shaking his head, covering his face with his rough cracked hands in embarrassment. “JAMES! This is not a race, behave please! I’m tired of you both fighting over everything”, says mom. Dad is giving Jake the ultimate death stare; eyes were fixated not moving a muscle. Jen is trying so hard not to laugh while James is getting yelled at by mom, while Nani is telling mom, “Relax honey, they’re just kids, you know you and your sister were always fighting so I don’t think you should get all worked up, ease up baby”. Mom rolling her eyes as usual says, “mom again thank you for the parenting input, I can handle this”.
I’m just sitting here really just observing everyone and trying to find the right moment to tell everyone my big news. How will everyone react? Should I even say anything or wait? God, they’re going to be so pissed, alright here goes. “So, guys there’s something I need to tell you…”, no one is even listening to me in this moment. Dad and nana are stuffing their faces like they’ve had food in their life, Jen is making fun of James for getting in trouble while James is rolling his eyes and telling her “well I got it before you so whatever”, and mom and Nani are still arguing about who’s parenting skills are better. You know what? I’m just going to blurt it out and see if they even pay attention, because at this moment I doubt they’ll even hear a word. “I’M PREGNANT GUYS!”, and of course they hear that, everyone stops. Dads mouth is full of food and he says, “Um what did you just say?”, mom’s mouth is wide open in shock, I am pretty sure a fly flew in and out and she didn’t notice. Jen is looking at mom then looks at dad and then looks at me and her face says it all, “oh shit you are about to hear it from them”, and James as usual never cares and says, “Cool sis, who’s the sad guy to get stuck with you?”. I never cared what he said. Nana and Nani have the biggest smile on their face, I am pretty sure they don’t even care who it is at this point.
Nervously laughing, “Yeah so I’m pregnant, and no James there is no sad guy actually, there isn’t a guy at all, I got a donor.”
As she stumbled through what felt to be a doorway, the stench of joop cologne lingered in the air. Through her blurred peripheral, she notices a tall, brooding shadow, just feet away from her. In her panic, she trips over a box, and lands on a futon. As she desperately tries to catch her breath but to not breathe too loud, thoughts of survival or lack there of swarm through her head.
She was exquisite. Even if I was the only one who saw her that way.
Her skin reminded of peaches. Soft and red, like a newly born baby. A Mona Lisa smile was permanently kept on her face. Her honeyed, petite lips were consistently curved into a mysterious expression. She reminded of me of character inside of Nancy Drew novel.
Her eyes consumed me. Blue like the Icarian Sea, with specks of yellow like sunlight dancing on the water. Her eyelashes only made the diamond shape of her eyes more prominent. With eyelashes so dark and thick, you could hold all your love on top of it.
Her face held the shape of a heart, like a reflection of the kind of soul she held. Her freckles were like constellations along her face. Perfectly placed by God like paint on canvas. They surrounded her nose. So small and delicate, you almost felt an urge to touch it. A nose so elegant it reminded you of Kensington Palace.
The hair that framed her beauty was black like the darkness of the night, almost daring you to come inside. Allowing you to be consumed by the shadows of it blowing in the wind.
She may not have been beautiful to others, but to me she was perfect.
Plot: Jassi is a Indian girl who wants to finally move out of her parents home. She is successful and well educated and can take care of herself, but her mom only wants her to leave if she is married to another man. The story is going to into how Jassi is going to tell her parents that she’s ready to be on her own whether they like it or not.
- Scene 1: Jassi getting ready to prepare her parents and siblings breakfast so it will show a sense of what kind of daughter she is and how the relationship is between her mother and Jassi.
- Scene 2: her life aat work and with her friends and the life she has at home to really show the difference of the way she is living.
- Scene 3: Conversations with friends and others pushing her to finally tell mom about her moving out
- Scene 4: Parents have an arranged marriage waiting at for her so when she gets home from work she is in shock.
- Scene 5: One night Jassi decides to break it down to parents about moving out and not when she’s married…to be continued.
SUMMARY: Buzzing of bell
SCENE: At the door talking to the person who is outside
SUMMARY: Knowledge of the unknown
SCENE: The bathroom session
FLASHBACK: Saw clues but could not prove them
SUMMARY: Bathroom session – questioning
SCENE: In the bathroom – Jay’s response
SUMMARY: Jay responded with emotion
SCENE: Jay’s explanation that resulted to his action in question
SUMMARY: Jay continued to express more with emotion
SCENE: Jay tried to make excuse for his action
SCENE: A command from Nyomi
Eves parents die. She is trying her best to cope with the loss. the entire school knows about it because her parents were generous donors and even have Lynn Lane named after them. Eve is now all alone in the world with no siblings to share her loss. She tries her best to keep busy by focusing on school completely. Jack comes and distracts her for a bit by befriending her. He is careless with his words and it causes their friendship to end. Jack refuses to let her go.
Jack continues to pine for Eve. At the same time, he is trying to become a better man in the hopes that one day he will be with her. He is undertaking pressure from his family because they want to be something he is not. He likes his teaching job but wants to be more than that. His obsession with eve inspires and distracts him. He follows her around trying to find out what he could do to make her fall for him. Nothing works. Eve moves away.
Jack never stops loving Eve. it is years later and he is married with kids. But he always pictures her face instead of his wife. He fails to achieve anything he wanted to out of his life. one day he sees her crossing the street. He runs up to her to say hello and catch up. he feels like his life can begin again
Beginning-setting drive home from work. Calls twin brother to share news but feels guilty, shitty
Michael is on his way home from work. Today he was offered a new promotion to be the Vice President of a division at Hammer International a Global Investment Corp. based out of Sydney, Australia. He has one month to accept the offer and additional month to close out business in his current title and transition to the new position in Sydney, Australia. Driving in his car home he is thinking about his twin brother Terrence. Terrence was given a year or less to live 4 months ago. Terrence recently moved into hospice within the last month. He is having an internal conversation which sometimes becomes a verbal conversation with himself out loud.
Middle: setting Michael & Tamara’s home
Michael reaches home. He tells his fiance Tamara who is happy for him but she also understands the enormous weight that this decision will for everyone involved.
End:setting hospice with twin, Tamara and Raheem
Timeline of my Story:
Beginning (Chapters 1-5) – Story begins in the present moment (Prologue) narrated by the main character and goes backwards in the form of a flashback to explain how the main character got there. There will be alternating between summaries and scenes and the scenes will include character introductions through dialogue as well as setting descriptions of the In-between. Main scenes:
- Rhea’s first time in the In-Between and what that felt like
- A typical day in Rhea’s life on Earth (summaries of the not so important details of her day might be included)
- When Rhea first meets Alvis in the In-Between
Middle (Chapters 6-10) – The chapters begin alternating in points of view between Rhea and “the soul boy” once this new character is introduced. (tentative) The conflict develops and there are more scenes than summaries.
- Rhea meets the “soul boy” (no name yet)
- Rhea develops feelings for the “soul boy”
End (Chapters 11-15) – Conflict reaches its peak and Rhea is forced to make a final decision about whether she would like to remain on Earth and live out the rest of her life or move on to the In-Between and subsequently the “after life” to be with the “soul boy”.
This Plot Summary is going to be very vague because I have not started my story yet, as I am having a writer’s block. I also missed class on the day you discussed this and just found out in class today that this was due (I looked back at your email and saw that I overlooked this part).
Here is a very vague outline of what I think will be my story: If you gave us a specific structure, I am sorry that I missed it.
The protagonist, Margaret wants to abandon her past because she hates where she comes from. Meanwhile, she tries to better herself by becoming more educated in order to fit in with her husband Roberto’s peers as well as her new upper middle class community.
Margaret is increasingly frustrated that she is hitting roadblocks with her education completion and realizes that she will never quite be who she wants to be. She feels lonely because she distanced herself from everyone in her past yet she does not quite click with her new “friends”
Margaret hits a low point when she goes to a gala honoring Roberto’s Neurology Department. She sees that Roberto shines and is so well liked by his peers. She also notices that the women that he spends most of his time with are actually really the woman Margaret wants to be but will never be.
The next day, Margaret learns that an old friend from her old neighborhood in Philadelphia has died. As she contemplated going to the funeral, she finds herself thinking of her old crush that was more like an obsession all through high school. She also feels the need to surround herself with old friends.
Margaret attends the funeral and is welcomed by old friends. There is a bit of a distance between them, but there is a strong bond through nostalgia. Margaret’s main mission is to hunt down her old crush Mark at the funeral.
Margaret hunts down Mark and does her best to get close to him and tries her best to seduce him (which is not difficult to do). A large group of friends go out to the local neighborhood bar after the funeral. Margaret has plenty of drinks and stays glued to Mark, who is also married but his wife is at home caring for her mother with Alzheimer’s disease. Mark tells Margaret to finish their conversation as the bar is closing at his brother’s apartment (which was empty because he was working a night shift as a cop).
Margaret and Mark end up hooking up and sleeping together. Right away, Margaret compares Mark’s body to her husband’s body and is disappointed and disgusted. Mark is very aggressive and cold in bed and it takes him what seems like forever to finish. Margaret leaves right away and spends the night at her parent’s house before she heads back home to Westchester, NY in the morning.
Margaret is self loathing and anxious the whole ride home along the NJ Turnpike. When she arrives home, she sees Roberto, her family, her home, her life in a very different light…
*** I am still working on the ending!!!
NOTE: This is an experimental story. Almost all of the Judy scenes are from the point of view of her repressed imaginary friend who is child-like and sing-songy. At times she is not very linear and her language is simple and sometimes abstract.
Judy is a troubled woman who is struggling with depression and mental illness. She has a repressive, overbearing mother and has problems with intimacy. She used to have an imaginary friend called Judy-Soul, who knows the truth about the memory Judy is suppressing. Judy-Soul still speaks to her, but Judy doesn’t trust her and wants her to stop talking. Through speaking with her mother, she is convinced that her father, who committed suicide years ago, molested Judy as a child, Judy goes home to kill herself. She undresses, draws a bath and slits her wrists, and passes into unconscious.
Meanwhile on a roof across from Judy’s house, an obsessed voyeur has cataloged all the times that various women in the buildings across the street come home and the opportunities he has to see them undress. He has his regulars, but he is most obsessed with Judy, whom he has never seen naked. On this night however, she leaves the curtains open and he gets to see his fantasy fulfilled. However, he them noticed that she gets in the tub, and through his binoculars he can see that she has cut herself. He throws things at the window to try to get her attention but he cannot, so he climbs out on the ledge to try to break the window with an old mop hande. In the midst of this, the police arrive on the other roof and distract him, causing him to fall to his death, but not before breaking the window. The police investigate the window he broke and wind up saving Judy, who is alive, but now comatose, lost in a dream where Judy-Soul has taken over her mind and made her realize that the molestation memory is false and her father loved her.
Scene 1 Judy is at her mother’s house telling her that she wants to go to volumtarily commit herself into a mental institution to “rest.” Her mother mocks her. Judy-Soul, Judy’s inner voice is trying to calm Judy but it isn’t working. Her mother harasses Judy about Judy’s failed marriage, about Judy not being there when her father died, and insinuates that the father may have molested her. Judy refuses to discuss it and leaves the house to go home
Scene 2 On a roof across from her house a man with binoculars and a notebook is looking in women’s windows to try to see them undress. The notebook has the times the woman he has caught before come home. His fantasy is Judy, though he has only seen her take her shirt off once. He notices Judy’s light go on while he is checking out another window, and hurries over to look.
Scene 3 Judy is home and makes tea. Her mother calls to continue the conversation. Judy-Soul get very agitated trying make Judy remember things the right way, not the way her mother saw them, but Judy shuts the voice out. She is convinced that her father molested her. She hangs up with her mother, and goes into the bedroom, undresses, runs and bath and cuts her wrists.
Scene 4 The man sees Judy’s bedroom light go on, and masturbates as Judy undresses and runs a bath. He then runs away back to his house.
Scene 5 Judy is in the tub, losing consciousness. Judy-Soul is still trying to make her see the truth, but is getting weaker and weaker.
Scene 6 Back in his house the man revels at his luck, but is worried that he may have been seen. He vows not to go back on the roof, but the thought that Judy is naked in the tub right then is too much and he head back onto the roof for another glimpse. He sees Judy in the tub, but realizes she has cut herself, and he tries to get her attention by throwing rocks at the window, and then climbing onto the roof ledge to try to break the window with a mop handle. As he is leaning, the police arrive, shine a light on him and shout for him to get off the ledge. As he successfully breaks the window, he loses his footing and falls.
Scene 7 Judy is in the hospital, comatose. Her mother is by her side. Judy-Soul is in control of Judy’s mind now, and will not let go because Judy tried to kill them. Judy-Soul shows Judy that her father never hurt her. In her mind, in the alley where the man fell, she sets up tea cups. One for her, one for Judy, and one for the man who watched Judy. There is one empty place. Judy-Soul smells the familiar pipe smell of Judy’s father coming from around the corner.
The plot of my story will be about a humanoid robot who is trying to fit in a future society that rejected artificial intelligence and robotic technology in the wake of a devastating war between humans and robots that left much of humanity destroyed.
The inciting incident is the robot escaping the lab where a group of technicians constructed him. He walks through city streets and observes that everyone else is human and they are prejudiced against robots. He comes across a store that sells household robots who work as slaves for humans. He goes to a library, where he learns information about the fateful war between humans and robots. He meets a police officer character who is initially afraid of robots but learns to be more respectful and open-minded. The robot and his officer friend see how every aspect of the society has been built around the fear of technology and the dehumanization of robots, despite the robots having human-level intelligence capabilities at this point.
Wife and Husband wake up
Get ready for work
Wife gets kids ready for school
Wife hears a message notification ding
Goes upstairs to his office and sees a message from unknown number with a time and location
Wife gets kids from school and drops them off at neighbors
Goes to location and discovers husband is laundering money for drug cartel
To be continued…
October 16th, 2019
ENW 302 – Prof. D.W
Plot (due by 10/17): Create a timeline of events that will take place in your story. Be sure to indicate when you’ll have scenes vs. summaries and when you’ll be in the present vs. a flashback.
- Yelena has a flashback of her morning (Picking up the folder) which leads to another flashback of when she first met her husband (this is in a summary form).
- A present action (water drops) brings her back to the present.
- A scene begins with Yelena opening the folder and interacting with Grey.
- The restaurant scene is written in the present.
- Grey notices a scar on Yelena (she notices him staring at it) This causes a transition to writing Yelena’s history with her father in the past tense as a summary.
- The summary is followed by a present scene with Yelena trying to get to know Grey more. They make plans to hang out outside of work.
- They leave the restaurant and a new present scene begins when Yelena is left alone again to watch the pictures carefully.
- The chapter ends with Yelena during a present scene leaving to go home.
- The chapter starts off in the past as a scene (Yelena dreaming about a memory of her husband.)
- Flashes to the present when Yelena’s alarm goes off.
- Remains in the present as a scene until Grey picks her up.
- Yelena’s spots someone looking at her and makes an excuse to leave grey.
- The story remains in scene mode until she gets home.
- Past summary of the first time her husband found her.
- Present scene with the person following her entering her house.
- Present scene with Grey coming by to see if she’s okay and seeing the guy enter.
- Present scene with Yelana and stalker
- (Unsure of what comes next.)